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Premiere Of Disney's "Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales" - Red Carpet
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Johnny Depp Apologizes for Trump Assassination Joke, Capping Off a Very Bad Week

It hasn’t been a great week for Johnny Depp. By now you’ve probably heard about his Trump assassination joke that’s garnered mounds of controversy. And while that story, and the actor’s apology, have gotten the most attention in the media, that’s not the only development in Depp news.

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Dark Universe
Universal
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Universal Announces ‘Dark Universe’ of Monster Movies, Including a New ‘Bride of Frankenstein’ in 2019

Universal is going dark.

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Pirates of the Caribbean
Disney
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‘Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales’ Review: A Once-Great Franchise Sinks to the Bottom

When last we saw Johnny Depp’s Captain Jack Sparrow he was, I don’t know, doing pirate stuff probably? After the first Pirates of the Caribbean, 2003’s The Curse of the Black Pearl, all these movies began to blend together. Some sword fights, a mystical MacGuffin, an all-powerful bad guy, a couple battles at sea, blather, mince, repeat. Even though the latest, Dead Men Tell No Tales, comes from a new pair of directors (Kon-Tiki’s Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg), it’s basically indistinguishable from the three previous sequels, except that it’s even worse than they were.

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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Disney
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Being a Ghost’s a Real ‘Beach’ in This New ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ Clip

Life kinda sucks when you’re a Disney pirate. One day you’re going about your business, plundering and looting in as family friendly a manner as you can muster, and the next thing you know you’re a undying ghost with all kinds of weird restrictions. Collect the gold, avoid moonlight, walk on water but not on land… honestly, is there even a rulebook for this sort of thing? The trial-and-error process these poor pirates must go through to figure out the boundaries of their life has to be exhausting.

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Johnny Depp sunglasses
Ian Gavan/Getty Images
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Johnny Depp Offers to Take Over as Donald Trump on ‘SNL’ When Alec Baldwin’s Had Enough

When Alec Baldwin has finally had enough of doing Trump on 'Saturday Night Live,' Johnny Depp would be happy to take over the role, he told Ellen DeGeneres.

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4th Annual unite4:humanity Gala - Arrivals
Paul Archuleta, Getty Images
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Sealed With a Kiss: Amber Heard and Elon Musk Pack on PDA

Heard seemed to confirm the relationship by putting her hand up on Elon Musk's shoulder.

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Category: Celebrity News, News Tags:
Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Men Tell No Tales logo
Disney
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Javier Bardem Vows Revenge in the Latest ‘Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales’ Trailer

Disney
The smartest thing that the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise ever did was introduce a revolving door of ghost pirate enemies. I don’t really care why Javier Bardem’s character hates Jack Sparrow, nor do I think for a moment that this is the film that will permanently kill Johnny Depp’s character off for good, but those plots points are secondary, the franchise’s equivalent of a ghost McGuffin (a McGhostin?). All I really care about is seeing charismatic actors like Bardem play campy villains.

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Category: Articles, TV & Movies Tags:
Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Men Tell No Tales logo
Disney
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The Dead Command in the Sea in the ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ Super Bowl Spot

There are a lot of ghost pirates in these Pirates of the Caribbean movies. The newest film, Dead Men Tell No Tales, centers on a whole new crew of spectral baddies (led by Javier Bardem) on the hunt for Johnny Depp’s most famous creation, Captain Jack Sparrow. Will he prevail? Well, dull, yes he will. He’s the one whose face is in the actual Pirates of the Caribbean ride.

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johnny depp lawsuit
Christopher Polk, Getty Images
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Johnny Depp’s Superfluous Spending Led to Money Loss, Claims Countersuit

Depp, apparently, spends money the way only a caricature of a famous rich person could.

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Amber Heard Domestic Violence
Rachel Murray, Getty Images
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Amber Heard Refuses to Accept Role of Domestic Violence ‘Victim’

'We have inherited far too much to be resigned to accept injustice,' Heard wrote.

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