Dumb Iowa City Criminal Arrested After Failing to Hide his Big Bulge
Oh, Kyle Clark, you've done it. You've committed a crime that will have people calling you "Bulge Boy", or "pot-bellied busted". Or, something hopefully more clever than that that you come up with as you read this story. Today we hear the ballad of 19-year old Kyle Clark, the pot-bellied pothead.
Gather 'round and hear the tale of Bulge Boy
Our story starts in Iowa City in the wee hours of Saturday when, according to The Smoking Gun, cops were called to a disturbance at an apartment buidling. When they arrived, they discovered Mr. Clark shouting at another man, who was shouting right back. Once Clark noticed the Iowa City Police officers coming to investigate, he attempted to walk away. That is when officers noticed... the bulge. This protruding artifact was tucked into Clark's shirt near his waistline, according to the report.
As you might imagine, cops see this sort of thing often. Folks hiding something. Drugs, a weapon, stolen items, etc. So, they flat our asked Clarke if protrusion was weed. He ignored them and kept walking. Unfortunately for our bulgy bro, he walked down the stairs and found a dead end. Police placed him in cuffs and that's when the police report states, "a very large bag of marijuana fell from under his shirt." Clark did what many other like-minded criminals do and quickly said the weed, which was measured at about 4 ounces, wasn't his. He tried to explain why he had someone else’s stash o' pot, but the police still ultimately arrested him.
Clark was charged with a felony and misdemeanor drug counts. He was booked into the Johnson County jail and was then released late Saturday morning. There's still no word on who Clark's bulge belonged to. You're doing it wrong, Kyle. Usually, guys brag about the bulge, Clark.
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